Becoming a wheelchair user can bring a lot of change, often all at once. There is the physical adjustment, but there are also new routines, new equipment decisions, new emotions, and a lot more planning than before.
We spoke with wheelchair users about what helped them, what they wish they had known earlier, and what advice they would offer to someone just starting out. Here’s what they shared.
Give yourself time to adjust
The early days can feel overwhelming. One person described it simply: “There is so much you have to learn.”
That learning might include using your chair, getting around your home, navigating public spaces, managing transport, dealing with people’s reactions, and understanding what support or equipment you need.
Another person became a wheelchair user suddenly as a young student. Going back into the community meant not only learning how to move around differently, but also coping with people staring and classmates not knowing how to relate in the same way.
There is no perfect timeline. Some people adjust quickly. Others take years. Some people may never feel they have fully “accepted” everything — but they learn, adapt, and keep going.
Handy tip: You don’t have to figure everything out at once. Start with the next practical option, then the next one.
Use what helps — even if it feels like a big move
Several people talked about resisting wheelchair use at first. For some, there was a long period of pushing through pain, fatigue, walkers, reduced independence, or avoiding outings before finally using a wheelchair.
One person said they battled with the idea because they didn’t want to “be that person in a wheelchair”. But once they started using one, they quickly thought: “Why didn’t I do this earlier?”
For most people, using a wheelchair, or accepting being a wheelchair user is not a sign of giving up trying to walk. It can be a way to save energy, reduce strain, reduce stress, and live with more choices.
Handy tip: If a mobility aid helps you do more of what matters, it is worth exploring.
Find someone who gets it
Family and friends can be incredibly supportive, but many wheelchair users said there is something different about talking to someone with lived experience. One person shared, “Nobody told me how lonely it would be,” and reflected that meeting another wheelchair user early on would have made a real difference.
Some people admitted they avoided other wheelchair users at first because it felt confronting. Later, meeting someone who understood the frustrations, humour, practical challenges, and emotional load became life-changing. One participant described finding “their person” through shared activity and peer connection, and said those relationships helped them move forward.
Handy tip: You don’t need a huge network overnight. One person who understands can make the journey feel less lonely. Look for peer support through rehab, community groups, adaptive sport, online networks, or local disability communities.
Ask for skills, not just equipment
A wheelchair is not just something you sit in — it is how you move through the world. Several people spoke about being given a wheelchair without enough practical training for real life. Ramps, curbs, door lips, uneven paths, cars, public spaces, and tight spaces all take practice.
One wheelchair user said they learned a lot by being around others who had more experience: “Before I had those people to talk to, I had no idea.” They picked up tips for turning, getting over small lips in doorways, and moving more confidently.
Learning from experienced wheelchair users was a big confidence-builder. Small tips can make everyday life safer, easier, and less exhausting.
Handy tip: Ask for wheelchair skills training. If formal training is limited, ask about peer mentoring or connecting with experienced wheelchair users.
Make sure your equipment works for your real life
Your wheelchair setup matters. It can affect comfort, safety, posture, independence, confidence, and how much you can do day to day.
People talked about the frustration of equipment decisions being made without enough listening, enough trial time, or enough understanding of their everyday life. One person described buying an off-the-shelf chair when they couldn’t access the right support. It didn’t fit properly, was hard to use, and made life more difficult. Another person needed a chair they could lift into their car while learning to drive, but described the process as a constant battle to prove what they needed.
Their advice was clear: get proper advice, keep asking questions, and don’t take no for an answer when something isn’t working.
Handy tip: Your chair needs to work where you actually live — at home, in the car, at work or study, with friends, and in your community.
Protect your body for the long term
One of the clearest pieces of advice from a long-term wheelchair user was:
“Watch your shoulders.”
Pushing, lifting, transferring, loading your chair into the car, and getting around inaccessible places all add up. Several people talked about the physical toll of years of doing things the hard way.
This is not about doing less. It is about finding smarter ways to do more, for longer.
Handy tip: Ask about chair setup, pushing technique, shoulder care, power assist, car loading, and ways to reduce strain before pain or injury becomes a bigger issue.
Plan ahead — but keep saying yes
Many wheelchair users talked about missing spontaneity. Leaving the house can mean checking parking, toilets, entrances, ramps, door widths, transport, seating, lifts, weather and paths. Travel may require even more preparation.
One experienced traveller summed up their access-checking process as “photos, photos, photos” before booking accommodation or visiting venues. On one trip, they ate at a famous restaurant from a table set up in the car park because the building was not accessible.
Handy tip: Planning ahead is not overthinking. It is often what helps you say yes to more things.
Expect frustration — and protect your energy
Frustration came up again and again. People shared stories about inaccessible parking, poor ramps, bathrooms that don’t work in real life, transport problems, and people making assumptions. One person spoke about arriving for an accessible taxi only to find the driver didn’t know how to set it up properly and then failed to use a seatbelt.
Another person talked about turning around and going home when they couldn’t find accessible parking, because the energy required to continue was too much. Others described shifting from confronting individuals to advocating for better systems, such as councils, venues, or service providers.
Handy tip: You don’t have to fight every battle every day. Protect your energy, and connect with people who understand.
Stay active in a way that works for you
Staying active may look different, but it can still bring confidence, purpose, and community. Participants talked about wheelchair racing, lawn bowls, archery, boccia, badminton, powerlifting, softball, and wheelchair AFL.
One person discovered wheelchair racing after years of focusing on returning to a previous sport. They said finding a new sport helped them shift from constant disappointment to working toward something that made them happy. Another spoke about powerlifting, para archery, and lawn bowls as ways to stay active and connected.
Handy tip: Try things before deciding they are not for you. The right activity may also introduce you to the right people.
Expect relationships to change
Relationships can shift. Some people may over-help. Some may not know what to say. Some may surprise you with how supportive they become.
One person shared that their partner is now also their main carer, and that the relationship has changed out of necessity. Another said they discovered which people were actually genuine in wanting to support, however they could. Someone else described friends physically carrying them up two flights of stairs at university because they were determined to be included.
Handy tip: Let people learn with you. Be clear about what helps, what doesn’t, when you want support, and when you want independence.
Speak up when people talk past you
Several wheelchair users talked about people speaking slowly, making assumptions, calling them inspirational for ordinary things, or talking to the person beside them instead of directly to them.
One person put it plainly: “My back’s failing, it’s not my head.”
That message matters. A wheelchair may change how someone moves through the world, but it does not erase their personality, intelligence, humour, goals, relationships, or future.
Handy tip: It is OK to say, “Please talk to me directly,” or “I’ll let you know if I need help.”
Remember: you are still you
People may see the wheelchair first. They may stare, make assumptions, or speak to the person beside you instead of speaking directly to you. That can be exhausting and hurtful.
But you are still the same person — with your own humour, goals, relationships, frustrations, preferences, and future. Life may require more planning, more advocacy, and more patience, but it does not stop.
As one wheelchair user put it: “Life doesn’t stop, you’ve just got to go and look for it.”
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Useful information, created with and for wheelchair users.
Disclaimer
The content in this blog is intended to be informative and empowering, sharing general insights and experiences around life with assistive technology. It reflects the views of the author and is not a substitute for personalised medical, clinical, or professional advice.
Everyone’s needs, goals, and health circumstances are unique. If you’re considering any changes to your equipment, routines, or support, we always recommend speaking with your Occupational Therapist, healthcare team, or another qualified professional.