Becoming Dad: Rob’s Story of Parenting in a Wheelchair

Rob Hewitt is the proud father of beautiful Ellie. Here, he shares his experiences with us.

As they prepared for Ellie’s arrival, Rob and Kelsey thought carefully about what would make parenting more accessible. Support services helped them talk through what Rob wanted to be able to do, to be involved, not watching from the side, and how they could make that happen. Practical advice from occupational therapy and others helped them plan, but so did something just as important: community. 
Through wheelchair rugby, Rob had spent years around other wheelchair users who had become parents. He had seen dads in chairs holding their children, moving around with them, making routines work, and doing family life in their own way.
“I’ve been surrounded by people in chairs that have become fathers,” he says. “I guess I was somewhat inspired.”  
That community mattered. It gave Rob examples, reassurance, and people he could talk to honestly. One friend in particular had been a valuable resource, not just because he had practical advice, but because Rob had spent a lot of time with his friend’s family. His friend’s children had grown up with wheelchair users around them, and disability was simply part of their normal. 
“They don’t know different either,” Rob says. “It’s normal.” That sense of normal has become part of Ellie’s world too.

That is one of the quiet strengths of Rob’s story. It is not about pretending everything is easy. It is about showing what becomes possible when people share knowledge, when support is practical, and when families are free to do things differently.
One of the biggest practical changes for Rob was an adapted baby carrier that attached to his wheelchair. When Ellie was very little, it allowed him to keep her close and move safely with her. As she has grown, it has become part of their daily connection.
“Such a game changer for me,” Rob says. “Now that she’s that age, we just go hooning outside and she loves it. She comes in, in the evenings, and she brushes her teeth in it. We just have a real good bonding time like that.”   The carrier gives Rob confidence that Ellie is safe, and he thinks she feels that too.
Not everything has been straightforward. Rob is honest that there were moments of frustration, especially early on, when he could not do some things in the way he wanted to. One example is when Ellie was younger, he found it frustrating that he could not pick her up from the floor if she was crying.
But Rob and Kelsey have found their own rhythm. They tag team. They work out who is best placed to do what. Rather than dividing tasks evenly for the sake of it, they focus on what works best for their family. Kelsey does more of the practical aspects at this stage, while Rob takes on the things he can do, from household jobs to daycare runs, routines with Ellie, and keeping her entertained. 

For Rob, one of the biggest adjustments has been changing his own routines. His home is set up to work for him, with things lower and more reachable. But as Ellie has become more mobile, that accessibility has also made the world very available to her.
“The house is kind of set up for me, which is a bit lower, which is a bit more accessible to Ellie,” he says. “It’s a double-edged sword.”  
Baby-proofing, he explains, is not always straightforward. If every drawer, cupboard, or fridge door is made difficult for Ellie to get into, it may also become difficult for Rob to access. So instead of trying to lock down the whole house, Rob and Kelsey have had to think carefully about priorities, boundaries, and teaching Ellie what is safe. 
They keep certain doors closed, especially around wet areas like the bathroom, and use safety measures like plugs in sockets. Like all parents, Rob and Kelsey have had to learn what works for their child. Sometimes that means using calm words rather than rushing in physically.
Kelsey’s support, Rob says, has made a huge difference. She has supported him not only as a father, but as a husband, worker, and international athlete. Rob continues to work full time and compete in wheelchair rugby, and Kelsey understands how important those parts of his life are to him.

Family support has mattered too. After Ellie was born by C-section, Kelsey had lifting restrictions, and her mother came to help. Rob describes both sides of their family as close and supportive, with grandparents, aunties, uncles, and extended family all part of Ellie’s world.
Now, as Ellie grows into her own personality, Rob says their bond has changed. She smiles when she sees him, gives high fives, gets excited at daycare pick-up, and joins him in little daily rituals like helping get condiments from the fridge before dinner. 
“You really feel a bit more love,” he says. “It’s reciprocated a bit. It’s quite heartwarming and special.” 
Still, one of the most powerful parts of Rob’s story is his advice for other wheelchair users preparing to become parents.
“If you do have the resource to talk to someone that’s been there and done that, and who’s not afraid to not do things conventionally, I would definitely seek them out,” Rob says. “That probably gave me the most confidence.” 
He also encourages new parents to ask for help, even when it feels uncomfortable.
“It sucks. I don’t like doing it,” he says. “But I’ll tell you what, it makes your life a whole lot easier when you just swallow a bit of pride and ask for a bit of help.” 
That message is not just for wheelchair users. It is for almost every new parent. No one knows everything at the start. No one gets it all right the first time. Everyone is learning.

Rob’s version of fatherhood is practical, funny, determined, and deeply affectionate. It is in the adapted carrier and the open fridge. It is in the way Ellie climbs into his wheelchair when he is not in it and gets Kelsey to push her around. It is in the everyday routines that belong only to them. 
But beneath the fun is something even more important. Rob is a safe place for Ellie. A familiar always-ready lap. A steady voice. A dad who is present, involved, and willing to figure it out as he goes.
For Rob, being a father in a wheelchair is not about doing everything the same way as everyone else. It is about doing what works, accepting support, learning from community, and being Ellie’s dad in the way only he can.
And judging by the little hurricane following him from drawer to fridge to car, Ellie knows exactly who her dad is.

Thank you to Rob and his family for sharing these insights and photos.  ♥

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